The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
