i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
