so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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