we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
