Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
