i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
