oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize