her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize