? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
