Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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