I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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