Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
