just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
