oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
