That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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