I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
