What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
