Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
how does that bad decision feel?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
