I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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