Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
