Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
