ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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