I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
