i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
