6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
