you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I am available for nakedness
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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