your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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