Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
