she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
