Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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