we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
