dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
