Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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