He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
