Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
