Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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