mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
