She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
