everyone is single if you try hard enough
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
