based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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