how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize