I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
