I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
