wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Semen is not good for contacts.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
