It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
