nut hugger
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I need moral support for this bender
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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