Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
