Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
