If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Randomize
