So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
...so i touched it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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