Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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