oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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