Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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