I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
