Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
