hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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