So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
farters have to be the big spoon...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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