so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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