Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
