There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
